I hope everyone had a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Rohatsu, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Festivus, and Yule. (I think that's all of them..) And I want to thank you all for absolutely DESTROYING our inventory. Now we can afford to feed our cat for a couple weeks! (Snowball says hi.)
See that pillow that an overdosed Ken is passed out on in the picture above? That was hand sewn (!) out of a t-shirt by Pause's new friend-for-life Katrina. As you can see, it's the coolest thing since bees got knees, and I'm sure if you started up your own clothing line she'd make you one too.
(Just kidding of course. She's under contract to us. We practically own her and her pillow making skills.)
Normally I wouldn't plug other people's products on here, but this guy has taken our "Malls suck. Support underground." motto and followed it so literally, it brings a tear to my eye. I love seeing indepenent business owners out there, giving it their all, competing with the corporate vultures, and to do with such prestige and grace? Truly heartwarming.
So this year, rather than buying your tree from your local Wal-mart. Please help out the underdog and buy from Winter Wonderland instead.
Remember when you were young, and your perception of relationships were based on the actions of singing animals dressed in human clothing, brought to you by Disney? The formula was simple: Guy meets girl. Bad guy gets in the way. Guy gets bummed. Cutlery makes a song about it. Guy gets stoked. Guy defeats bad guy. Guy and girl fall in love. Guy and girl get married, and they're happy forever. It seemed easy enough at the time, right? Remember when you tried to apply these scenarios in real life? Green tights had the opposite effect of making you look cool. Your cheery love songs would only get the cops called on you. And there were no flying carpets, singing crabs, disgruntled dwarfs, OR meerkats with New York accents to help you look smooth. What gives? Could it be that we were all brainwashed, and love doesn't play out in real life like it does in cartoon movies?
There was a while there when I would've said yes to that question. That is until my good friends Aaron and Alisha started dating, and proved me wrong. DEAD WRONG. These two are like the modern day Romeo and Juliet. Uh...except for all the drama and suicides, and they don't talk like that either, and Alisha isn't 13, and their parents get alo...You know what? Forget that comparison. They fit together like a puzzle is what I'm trying to say. If anyone should ever be married, ever, it's these two. And as of Monday, they're that much closer. He popped the question to her, and do you know what she said? "OooOaaawwwwooooo!" accompanied by tearing up and vibrating across the floor...but eventually after the shaking had slowed down, an audible "Yes!" came out!
Congratulations you two! Now if you'll excuse me, there's a certain someone I've got my eye on, and I have to go brush up on my archery skills if I'm ever going to win her over.
"ANOTHER Cancer Bats blog?"--"Yeah, so?"--"Why don't you just propose to them already?"--"Really?! Do you think I should? Do you think they'd say yes?!"--"Oh yeah, totally. I guarantee it. They wouldn't think it was weird and they definitely wouldn't call the police."--"Awesome! I'm going to do it! I'm going to ask them! Thanks Ken!"--"Anytime. Let me know how that goes."
Do you really want to start looking cool online from today onwards? Or do you want to keep looking at your stats counter and cutting yourself, realizing the only "hits" to your Facebook page are YOU looking to see what's going wrong? It's about time you checked out Pause Designs! And I've Got a Confession to Make...Are You Ready for it? Pause Designs is ULTRA SUPER DUPER EASY to join. Even a muffin could do it! A MUFFIN FOR GOD'S SAKE! So what's stopping you from joining Pause Designs today? Is it procrastination? Is it time? Is it money? Is it reading this complete bullshit blog? Or is it that NO ONE has ever held your hand and shown you step by step HOW to do it?
Well today is your lucky day. By now you understand that Pause Designs is "the go"... it's the "in thing to do" for 1997 and beyond. And we want to help you by showing you a quick, easy, simple and affordable solution that makes joining Pause Designs a "no-brainer." The truth of the matter is that it DOESN'T cost as much as you've probably been thinking. You don't need a Degree in Biological Science to get started. You don't even need to have graduated high school! All you need to do is have a Facebook account, eyes, maybe a couple hands, and $6000 cash. That's it... Pure and simple... This is how you're going to start raking in the cool faster than ANY of method you've EVER tried before.
Here's why...
- You'll meet extraordinarily cool people in our forum (See above picture) who are DYING to meet you and help you succeed. These professionals have YEARS of experience and KNOW what works!
- Rib night every Thursday. (BYOR)
- Free accommodations to Ken's bedroom for the first three months.
- The Pause Designs group also doubles as a coffee maker! (Rise every morning to a cup of "Damn this is tasty!"
After seeing the inside of our membership area, many of our friends, doomsayers, professional colleagues, and mortal enemies have told us that we’ve priced this offer much, much too low and that it should actually be $4097 plus $97 per month. For now, however, we’re leaving it at only $0 start up and $0 per month. But if demand is what we anticipate it will be, we’ll definitely raise the rate to $35,000 plus $6.75 per month. WOULDN'T YOU? Okay then, do yourself a favor and join now. Lock in your introductory price of only $0 per month by clicking here..
If you don't know what First Frame is all about, allow me to break it down for you. First Frame is a media team that collectively covers video, graphic design, web design, photography and tattooing. The team consists of an unreal amount of talent, including (my favourite) photography heavy hitter Brooks Reynolds. Anyway, they've just launched their new website at firstframemedia.com. And it's chock full of pretty things to look at. Go take a peek.
Fuck you. I am seriously fed up with being told that you're hot. How the fuck are you a spokesperson for Covergirl? Why are you on my TV? You look like a server at a truck stop, like maybe you'd look doable if I was eating a late night breakfast to sober myself up. But I wouldn't tell my friends. Not even the fat ones. And I wanted white toast, not brown, so I want my chocolate milk free, you fucking got that? Don't call me
If you don't already know, we at Pause do all the design work for a company called Axis Skateboards. It's like having our own skate company, except that instead of having to deal with all the boring things that come with having your own business (Paper work, taxes, hoards of babes, money, power, cockfights, fame, etc.)all we have to do is draw. It's a pretty fantastic deal. Anyway, Axis Skateboards just finished up their promo video for 2008, showcasing their brand new skate team. And I've gotta say, they don't mess around. They have an unreal amount of talent on their team already, and things are just getting started. So if you want to see our Pause Designs x Axis Skateboard decks in action, I highly suggest checking out this video.
