Sorry about the lack of posts these past few days. Things have been a little hectic around here. You see, last Monday we had a new roommate move in with us. His name is Steve, and it turns out he isn't as easy to live with as we initially thought.
We figured it would be fun to have someone new around the house. He'd help with the chores, ease up the rent for the rest of us, and allow us to have even teams when we play candyland every Tuesday.
But as it turns out, it's not like that at all. All Steve does is hang around the house all day, eat all of our food, and nap. He doesn't even have a job! In fact, I even had to pay Steve's old landlord off in order to get him into Canada. Unpaid rent or something. He wouldn't say. I've known him a week and already he's into me a cool $600! Oh, but it gets worse. Last week, I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when Steve comes waltzing in (possibly drunk) walks in front of me, and pees right on the carpet! I shit you not. Right in front of me! Then he just walks out of the room like it's the most normal thing in the world.
But get this, despite Steve's obvious lack of caring and hygiene, he is an absolute chick magnet. Seriously. He's Sean Connery times a million. Cute girls are constantly coming up to him on the street and putting their hands all over him! I've never seen anything like it. I'm basically invisible when he's around. I mean, yeah, admittedly it does make pickpocketing a lot easier for me. But still. It's the principal of thing.
-Eric Pause ¶ 10:40 AM
