STOKED ON SPANKY

The Pause "Gilbert" Munny has gotten a lot of attention this past week. It seems to be popping up everywhere! On designer vinyl websites all over the internet, as tattoos on attractive girls' lower backs, as a vision in the sky that lead 8 lost sailors back to land, and (Miraculously) it's image even appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich.

I'm exaggerating a bit (It was only 5 sailors.) but, you get the idea. Both Spankystokes.com and Plasticandplush.com did very flattering reviews of it, and needless to say, we're quite flattered.

You can check them out HERE and HERE.

-Eric Pause  ¶ 3:37 PM

  WHAT ARE YOU BEING FOR HALLOWEEN?

As you can see from the picture above, we spent so much time on Ken's costume this year, that I had to throw together a cruddy fully functional mech exoskeleton robot battle suit costume with paper maché and pipe cleaners at the last minute. Oh well, that one armed toast costume was totally worth it. It's frighteningly realistic in person. 

Since you heard about our costumes, it's only fair we hear about yours. So let's hear it, what are you being for Halloween?

(Tip: Ladies, if you want to improve your chances of getting with Ken this year, go as a toaster.)

-Eric Pause

  ¶ 8:28 PM

  BEFORE AND AFTER

  ¶ 8:58 AM

  ...NOW AVAILABLE IN CALIFORNIA

We're proud to announce our newest addition to the ever growing Pause family: Original Alibi. Original Alibi is a brand new shop based out of Long Beach, California, U S of A, that specializes in streetwear and all things awesome. We choose to work with them because:

1. They only carry hard to find independent brands.
2. They're located in California. So is Schwarzenegger. It's a no brainer.
3. They don't have a storefront inside a mall.
4. They're just as excited about our brand as we are.
5. They promised to return our dog they kidnapped.
6. And, they mailed us each a new Lexus. (Just kidding. You can't mail a Lexus... They were shipped to us.)

Go check out their shop, and all the great products they carry HERE.

(Tell them you and I are great friends. They'll treat you right.)

-Eric Pause  ¶ 5:31 PM

  PAUSE'S FAVOURITE PEOPLE: CAT MAZZOTTA

Think about your favourite person in the world. Go ahead...Think about them. Send them your kindest warmest wishes. Cocoon them in your fondest thoughts until every inch of your person is a beacon of good will. See? Nothing happened. It doesn't mean shit when YOU like someone, but when PAUSE likes someone, they get a BLOG! To this effect, welcome to Pause's newest addition tentatively called "Pause's Favourite People." This venue serves as a precision tool, designed to simultaneously condone much deserved accolades upon those who will now relish the giddy high of immaculate posterity, as well as heap shame upon those who did not quite make the cut. I know that, despite the nigh omniscient presence this blog has over over the internet, some of the people we don't choose as our favourites will still have to hear about it second and third hand. For those latent in this particular arena, I rest confident that a bitter wind gnaw at the very fibre of your being, leaving only your intuition to produce the slightest insight as to its foul reasoning...Whatever that means..

First on the roster: Cat Mazzotta. One thing I would like to clarify up-front is that Cat is not (as the above photograph would suggest) a ten year old kid. She is an artistic, motivated young woman in her late teens and the proprietor of a fantastic homegrown clothing brand, Kali Clothing. Unfortunately, the above was the only picture we could find of her wearing a Ninja Turtles costume, otherwise it would have been much more up-to-date.

Aside from being a great person to meet at the most recent clothing show, and giving us some tremendous advice as to how to further promote our brand in Toronto. (Get knives, and lots of them.) Here are a list of things that Cat has done for us that really went above and beyond:

- First round of Jager bombs were on her – and that's awesome – but the sea food dinner she caught and prepared at the same bar was over and above.

- Some guy was rude to Eric at the clothing show... lets just say he didn't see his family that night.

- Gave us one of her kidneys "Just in case we needed it later.”

- She cured my cancer. Straight up. I had a tumor and she dug it out with her stiletto. I was back on the dance floor in twenty minutes.

- She gave us the idea to have a 'Pause's Favourite People' blog.

- She's Banksy. Shhh.

- She shot JR. Shhh.

- She also shot 'What About Bob?'. Her cinematography was fantastic.

- She invented the moon. (Probably)

- Have you ever heard that you can only fold a sheet of paper in half 12 times? Well, that's actually true.

- She got me to stop smoking... as she was saving me and 14 orphans from a burning building. Thanks again Cat!

So that is where the bar is set if the rest of you would like to join the prestigious ranks of Pause's Favourite People. (And don't just copy the stuff that Cat did, or we'll know you're sucking up.)

-Ken & Eric

  ¶ 6:42 PM

  THE PAUSE DESIGNS COMPLETE GUIDE TO CANDY

Candy is amazing. I should know. I eat an ungodly amount of it on a daily basis. I've traveled the world in search of new and delicious treats. I guess you could say I'm somewhat of a connoisseur of candy, and because of this, I'm passing on my vast knowledge to you...You're very welcome.


Astronaut Ice Cream

I don't know where NASA gets off calling this ice cream. It's room temperature chalky vanilla powder. They can strap people into giant silos of explosive fuel and blast them off to other planets, but they can't make ice cream? Shit, I could (probably) make ice cream. There's a way you can make it by putting all the ingredients into a coffee can, and just kicking it around, right? I could do that. I could kick that can like a pro. Also, why isn't NASA's ice cream cold? It's chilly in space. Why not just bring regular ice cream along and just leave it outside?

Honorable mentions: Aero, Abba Zabba, Astro Pop

Bridge Mixture

I wish I could explain what these are, but this is a very mysterious candy. The box claims it's "A delicious assortment of coated confectionery". So, it's something covered in something. Which I guess is true, besides the delicious part. It's like a snow fake in the sense that I'm quite certain I've never got the same filling twice. You you might get a fruity-tasting marshmallow thing, or maybe a raisin-like thing. Which isn't so bad, but when you the one filled with toothpaste, or uncooked rice. It's a different story.

Honorable mentions: Bottle Caps, Blow your lunch (RIP), Big league Chew, Boston Baked Beans, Baby Ruth

Crunchie Bar

Alright, what's going on here? These bars have been around my entire life, but I've never, EVER seen anyone buy one. Do people really eat these? Or has the same Crunchie bars been on the shelf for 20+ years now? I seriously want to know.

Honorable mentions: Cracker Jack, candy corn, Cotton Candy, Candy Cigarettes

Double decker

Okay, here we go. This is it. This is the only chocolate bar that has ever mattered. Ever. It's the sultan of swing, the great Bambino, and the king of the Delta blues all in one. You can only get this badboy in the UK, but holy mother of GOD is it worth the plane ticket and shitty weather. First, they take a chocolate bar filled with nougatine, black magic, and wafer, then they take another chocolate bar filled with Captain Crunch and bacon bits, and slam it ON TOP. Then, the entire thing is smothered, no!, ENROBED in milk chocolate, gold dust, and unicorn tears. It's like eating the two best chocolate bars in the world, at the same time. Check. Mate.

Honorable mentions: Donuts, Doritos, Dubble Bubble

Eat-More

If you're a little sick of the chocolate bar circuit and you need a change, this might be your bar. This bar is so different from other candy bars, it's practically punk-rock to eat it. The ingredients are simple - chewy goo covered peanuts. Is it good? No, not really. But folding the package so it reads "EAT ME" is pretty great. So what the hell. It makes the list.

Honorable mentions: Everlasting Gobstopper, Double Decker (I don't care. It's that good.)

Fritos

"I had a bag of Fritos. They were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had little grill marks on them. Hell yeah. Reminds me of summer time, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. 'Better flip that Frito, Dad. You know how I like mine.'"

Honorable mentions: Fizz, Fun dip

Gold Mine Gum

How cool were these? They came in a little burlap sack, and the gum looked just like gold nuggets. You could hide them around your room, pretending to be a dirty prospector, then use the sack as a cool change purse for your allowance. Awesome! The gum was almost too hard to chew, and the fruity flavour always threw me off, but a candy that LOOKS this good doesn't need to taste good. That's a rule.


Honorable Mentions: Garbage pail kids

Hockey Puck Gum

I don't play hockey, but I'm pretty certain hockey players chew this gum to help them play harder. It's like a combination of Gatorade and Steroids, except that they're available from vending machines for 25 cents, and are perfectly legal. They're sort of shaped like hockey pucks and they have strange hockey words printed on them, like Zamboni, Vancouver, and Enter Ice (I think a C might be missing.)

Honorable mentions: Hot Tamales, Hubba Bubba

Irn Bru (RIP)

When Scottish people aren't drinking haggis juice, or kilt brine, you can bet your sweet ass they're downing an Irn Bru. It's a neon orange cola that tastes like bubble gum. It is also a chocolate bar. You can imagine how it tastes.

Honorable mentions: Ice cream, Ivory Mountain

Jelly Belly

These are like the Cadillac of candy. They come in 10,000 different flavours, and are actually used as currency in some countries. But I'm calling bullshit on these beans. I'm not a millionaire, $3pb (per bean) is too steep for candy, and I don't really have the time to sort through 10,000 different flavours trying to figure out which one I want to eat. Besides, who the hell wants to eat jelly beans with flavours like oatmeal, ear wax, celery, Cajun squirrel, poltergeist, paprika, defeat, or fat guy? Not this guy, that's for sure.

Honorable mentions: Jolly Rancher (RIP), Juicy Bugs candy

Kit Kat - Apple Vinegar

FUN FACT TIME!: I like Kit Kat bars (Unless I'm with four or more people.) but in other parts of the world (Asia), Kit Kat is available in many strange flavours. Such as: Apple, Apple Vinegar, Banana, Chestnut, Cinnamon, Cookie, Dark, Tiramisu, Green Tea, Kinako (I don't even know what that is.), Mango pudding, Orange, Plum soda, Potato, Ramune, Sports Drink, Strawberry, and Triple chocolate. I haven't tried most of these, so if you're in Asia, please mail some to me.

P.S. Really.

Honorable mentions: Kisses, Those Asian Koala cookie things

Lik-a-stik

It might actually be called Fun Dip, but whatever, you get the idea. It's the powder you eat with that wet candy stick. The one that always seems like such a great idea until you're two dips in, and you realise you've made a terrible mistake. The powder that never tastes as good as you think it will, but you can't throw it out. The one you made a big scene about to your friends already, and you'd look silly if you don't stick to your guns, finish it, and act like you enjoyed it. It's also the one that doesn't come in a resealable pack. Nor does this pack even come with a flat bottom, that would allow you to put it down without spilling it everywhere. No, this is the candy that just keeps on screwing you until the bitter end. I actually did a bit of research on this candy, and do you know what the ingredients are? Natural and Artificial Flavors, Emulsifiers (Soya Lecithin), Sorbitan Monosterate, Polysorbate-60, Salt, Artificial Colors, and Hatred. You've been warned.

Honorable mentions: Lion bar, licorice, Life Savers

Mars Bar

I only ever buy this chocolate bar when I mistake it for a Snickers. When I mistakenly eat it, I'll notice that the texture is far too soft and chewy, like there's something missing. What's missing you might ask? Nuts. There's no peanuts, almonds OR hazelnuts in the entire bar, and Mars is somehow proud of this fact. Their commercials boldly state that their bars are peanut free! What? That's like advertising a car that doesn't have wheels (Nor can it hover). This chocolate bar is all filler and no killer. (Unless deep fried, but what isn't?)

Honorable mentions: M&Ms, Max 5, Marshmallow Bananas, Mr. Big

Nerds

Nerds are to candy what donut holes are to donuts: The residue or mistake. (Or the retarded cousin.)

Honorable mentions: Nut Milk, Now and Later

Overload

Allow me to explain: Overload is exactly like Reese's cups. Except for one difference: One cup has a chocolate chip cookie on top, one M&Ms, and the last an Oreo. This is basically the heroin of candy. You start off okay, but soon the sugar rush isn't enough for you. You start to double the amount of cookies on top, then triple, then quadruple. Before you know it, you've sold all of your possessions to pay for more and more cookies to put on top of your peanut butter cups, but all it does it get you to "normal". This candy has killed more rock stars than all the others combined.

Honorable mentions: Oreo, Ouch! gum, Oh Henry

Pringles

"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls, but on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they said, 'Fuck it. Cut 'em up."

Honorable mentions: Pop Rocks, Pancakes, Pez, Pixy Stix, Pocky

Q- Quax, Qun, Quark. I don't know. Those aren't real.

Reese's

“I get the Reese's candy bar. If you read it, there's an apostrophe. The candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's and some guy named Reese comes up to you and says let me have that. You better give it to him. I'm sorry Reece, I didn't think I would ever run into you.”

Honorable Mentions: Rocky Road bar, Rolo

Swedish Berries

Someone once told me that the red colour of Swedish Berries was due to the rabbits blood they used as an ingredient. Upon investigation, I've found it to be untrue. (Unless rabbits have concentrated pear juice running through their veins.) Upon further investigation, Swedish Berries are unheard of in Sweden. Diabolical.

Honorable mentions: Snickers, Skittles, Salt Water Taffy, Smarties, Sweet Marie bar

Tootsie Roll Pop

I don't know how many licks it takes to get to the centre of one, but I can tell you it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper.

Honorable mentions: Tootsie Roll, Toblerone, Twix, Turtles, Turkish Delight

U

Nothing starts with a U. Here's a fish skeleton and a marshmallow instead. >-)))*> ()_)

Violet Crumble

This is the knock-off version of the Crunchie bar. It claims to have a honeycomb centre, but it looks nothing like a honeycomb and tastes nothing like honey. Why is it called 'Violet Crumble'? There is nothing remotely purple about it at all. I don't know about this bar. Someone out there has to be buying it. Maybe it's hipsters, being ironic.

Honorable mentions: Vimto

Whatchamacallit

Caramel, Peanut Flavoured Crisps, and Milk Chocolate is great and everything, but why wouldn't they just use peanuts? Even peanut butter would have worked. Don't you need peanuts to make things taste like peanuts anyway? Why go through all that extra work? This bar is far too confusing to eat. Pass.


Honorable mentions: Wine Gums, Whirly Pop, Whoppers, Wunderbar, Wonka Bar

Xploder

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was awful. It had nothing on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory with Gene Wilder. What's with Johnny Depp? Why does he keep doing rolls in Tim Burton movies? Is Tim Burton his brother in law or some bullshit? And he feels obligated to? I like Johnny Depp, but sometimes he takes on horrible roles. As for Tim Burton, someone needs to cut him off. He hasn't made a decent movie in over a decade. Sweeney Todd?! What the hell was that?! Anyway, what am I talking about here?...ah yes, the Xploder is by Wonka. It's chocolate with pop rocks in it. Pretty sweet.

Honorable mentions: Xylophones

Yorkie

Corpse Bride, Planet of the Apes, Mars Attacks!, even Beetlejuice is pretty awful if you go back and watch it now, and what was with that ending? Where the girl floats up and reggae music starts playing? Did he run out of money? Or did he just not have an ending written down?

Honorable mentions: Yohgurt Dots, York Peppermint Pattie

Zours

Zours are basically sour Mike & Ike candies, and they're quite deletable. My only beef with them is that the "Raspberry" flavoured ones are blue. I have never seen a blue raspberry in my entire life, and lord knows I've been looking.

-Eric pause  ¶ 2:30 PM

  HIDE YOUR ARMS

The attractive geniuses with impeccable taste over at Hide Your Arms did a nice little post about our Indigestion t-shirt. Check it out here.

Also, thank you to Jeff Bacon for the hook-up! (Whoever you are...)

-Eric Pause  ¶ 6:45 PM

  THE CLOTHING SHOW FALL '09 RECAP

Minutes upon our arrival:

Show Coordinator: "PAUSE! Someone dropped out of the fashion show!"

Us: "Oh, that sucks. Who are yo-"

Show Coordinator: "GET EIGHT OUTFITS TOGETHER! I'LL BE BACK TO GET THEM IN 15 MINUTES!"

Us: "Buh?"

If I can offer you one bit of advice, it's this: Always, and I mean ALWAYS have extra party hats, bows, candy, noise makers, balloons and presents on hand. You never know when you'll be asked to told that you're participating in a fashion show, whether you like it or not. Fashion shows are unpredictable, and could be knee deep in one at any moment.

Despite having no set-up time, or the fact that we've never participated in a fashion show before. It seemed to be a hit. No one threw any produce at the models, nor did the models spit on us for dressing them up like that afterwards. Score! In addition to the fashion show, we also had an all round hootenanny of a good time there. We reunited with many old friends, made even more new ones (Hey Cat!), sold more Pause apparel than you can shake a stick at, AND ate our body weight in Cora's and The Pickle barrel each day. Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn't get much better than that.

Also, the following people either helped us out, or were awesome to us this year in one way or another, and deserve to be thanked: Shannon, Mel, Katrina, Jenna, Lindz, Dana, Rose, Steph, other Steph, Taylor, Taylor #2, Darcy, Steve, Doritos, Cat, Jesse, Valerie, Josh, Dawn, and that sassy Asian girl across from us whose name we can't ever remember. You are all welcome to anything in our fridge.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the sheer greatness of the model's sweater above: Yes it is in fact real. Yes it comes in 4 colours. And yes, it will be available through our online store and various retailers within the next couple weeks. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, if you're interested in other sneak peeks of new styles/more photos from the fashion show, you can check them out HERE.

-Eric Pause  ¶ 11:31 AM