Eric (Out of breath. In a panic.): "Ken! I just found the worst looking shoes I've even seen in my entire life! You HAVE to buy them!"
Ken: "What the hell?"
Eric: "I'm serious! They're so far beyond bad that they've gone full circle and now they're awesome! I'll show you, come on!"
*Run to shoe shop, find shoes*
Ken upon seeing the shoes (Gagging): "Oh no. No. No. No. There is no God."
Eric: "I know! Aren't they perfect in every way?! Think of the chicks you'll pick up with these gracing your feet!"
Ken: "I'd rather have sex with a campfire than ever wear those shoes."
Eric to broken English Japanese store clerk: "Good sir! How much for this masterpiece of footwear?"
Store clerk: "I give you half price. $70"
Eric: "Holy shit! That's a steal! He'll take them!"
Ken: "What? No! I don't want those ungodly shoes. I don't have $70 on me either."
Store clerk to Ken: "How much money do you have?"
Ken: "Uh...$20? And some change in my pocket. But I don't want the shoes."
Eric (whispering): "Ken, distract the clerk. I'm going to steal myself a pair too.."
Store Clerk: "Okay, you give me that."
Ken: "Oh...uh..What?..okay.."
Store Clerk: "What size?"
Ken: "11. But. I. do. Not. Want. To. Buy. These. Shoes."
*Ken dumps massive pile of pocket change into clerks hands. Receives shoes. We leave.*
Eric: "Haha! Are you insane? Look at those things!"
Ken (Scared and confused): "What the hell just happened?!"
Eric (Shouting): "HEY EVERYONE! LOOK AT THE SHOES THIS ASSHOLE JUST BOUGHT!"
Ken: "I hate you so, so much."
-Eric Pause ¶ 9:36 AM
