It is soon approaching that time of year again, when my seasonal job lays me off for the summer. Although this year is different than the rest. I won't be returning to school in September, instead I will be hunting for that new job, career even. I have already began my search but to no avail. SO! here it is, right under my nose this whole time. THE INTERNET...here goes nothing.
Dear Mr./Mrs. Internet, aka everyone, ever,
I have been a fan of yours for some time now. Your wit, charm never cease...and now I have come to repay you by coming to work for you in your palace of tubes.
I have complied a list of several(but not all ;)) skills I have acquired that may very well come in very handy!
- Bench Pressing
- Science experiment guinea pig
- I can colour all the pictures in your colouring book
- Open Wonka Bars in the search for a Golden Ticket
- Be the drunken asshole hitting on the girl you're talking to at the bar so you can beat me up
- I can eat the muffin stumps that you don't want finish (The top is the best part you see)
- I can lift those HEAVY-ASS WEIGHTS that you don't want to
- Tiger keeper-awayer
- New shoe breaker-inner
- I can dress up as Bo Jackson and attend parties (for an extra fee)
- Karate
- Be your friend
- Fly around the world to retrieve valuable objects for you
If any of these strike your fancy, or maybe you have suggestions or something for me like "dude chill" or "wtf" send em on over to andrew@pausedesigns.com even if you want to ACTUALLY hire me too....that would be awesome.
- Andrew Pause ¶ 7:53 PM
