Okay so we kind of dropped a bomb on you on that last post without warning. We've been hearing a lot of "WHO THE HELL IS MEL AND WHY IS SHE POSTING ON PAUSEDESIGNS.COM?! I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!" Well, before you start throwing full wine bottles at your computer screen, or something worse, allow me to explain. I met Mel many years ago when she gave me a lift to a Rosesdead show in some far off city. From the second I got in the car to the second I was safely dropped off at home I was in stitches. It was like God himself was channeling his best jokes and pop culture references through her the entire time. (Did I mention she was also glowing?) I got home only to find that my abs were bleeding, my throat was ruptured, and I was completely dehydrated from all the tears I had shed due to the strain of laughing for so long. After a long a painful recovery in the hospital, I rushed to tell Andrew and Ken of the godlike experience I had with this "Mel". Needless to say, they did not believe me. And I cannot say I blame them, I started to doubt it myself. That's when things started to go downhill for me. No one was funny to me anymore. I had had a taste of how funny a person COULD be, and everyone else wasn't trying. Frantically I started filling my brain with things that once cracked me up. Homeless people, that TV show "Intervention", pushing around the local forth graders... Nothing worked. Months and months passed without so much as a smile. Just when I thought things couldn't get any more grim, Ken came up with the idea that may of very well saved my sense of humor: "If she's so great why don't we ask her to model our new Inner Beauty tees?" Brilliant! I thought. And rushed over to myspace. Sho nuff, Mel was in fact a real person. And she was also in fact down for doing some pics. But the days leading up to the photo shoot felt like years, and I made myself sick worrying about it. What if she wasn't on this time? What if she wasn't on ever again?! By the time the photo shoot did come around, I was a train wreck. The combination of fear between me never being able to laugh again, and Ken and Andrew breaking my thumbs for overhyping her was taking it's toll on me. But it seems my worries were all for nothing. Mel came busting into our lives like a whitty bat out of hell. BAM! something about the fresh price of bel air here! BOOM! Dancing without music untill we all feel awkward in our own home there! POW! Does she have a real southern accent?! We don't know! By the time the shoot was over and she had left, Ken and Andrew were crying at my feet begging for my forgiveness for ever doubting me. (My Boo Box was getting repainted, so I forgave them instead.) Needless to say all three of us broke up with our girlfriends (They weren't good enough anymore compared to Mel.), and have continued to pester Mel to do more photo shoots and hang out with us constantly. And let me tell you, that pestering has paid off. Mel is now Pause's first official blog writer extraordinaire. So check back often my friend, because it's going to be nothing but good times on here from now on.
-Eric Pause ¶ 12:56 PM
