For those of you that don't know, allow us to quickly bring you up to speed: Earlier this year the Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, unhappy with his approval rating among Canada's youth, decided he would try out an edgy new idea to try and up his appeal. He figured the best way to go about this would be to give himself a "Hip, patriotic, tell it how it is" alter ego called "Classified". Mr. Harper then proceeded to use this alter ego by starring in government funded hip hop videos, where in which he raps about Canadian history, celebrities, hockey and food.
No one wants this blog to become a heated political debate, but personally, I don't think that our Prime Minister (For our friends in the States, the Prime Minister is our bleached, politically castrated version of Barrack Obama) should be using government funding to feature himself in hip-hop videos. Props are, however, ostensibly due to his makeup artist who succeeded in making our country's leader appear a solid five years younger. Likewise featured is the entire House of Commons acting (and I hesitate to use the term 'acting') like a bunch of drunken, flag-waving, face-painted idiots starkly reminiscent of the gaggle of shit throwing gibbons that would do a better job of running this country.
Door to door, it's about a seven hour drive from my house to parliament. I personally plan to drive there (Despite the current inclement weather.) shit on the front lawn, video tape it and demand they pay for it. Anyone who feels their tax dollars will better serve our country than it does to produce the Prime Minister's hip hop career, please write a detailed letter to that effect and send it to:
1 Wellington St, Ottawa, ON, K1A 0A9 (613) 992-4793 ATTN: Stephen "Classfied" Harper
I posted a blog a couple weeks back that consisted of a complete, no holds barred, list of celebrities that annoy me. While I got a lot of "Amen brother!" and "DAYUM! You tell it like it is!" type responses, I also got a lot of responses asking if there are any celebrities out there who actually don't annoy me. So without further adieu, I present to you, a list of celebrities who don't annoy me:
Bill Murray Tom Hanks Michael Cera Edward Norton Jim Carrey Jim Gaffigan Bret and Jemaine Stephen Colbert Sonic The Hedgehog Spike Jonze Michael J. Fox Chevy Chase Bugs Bunny Conan O'Brien Jason Lee Joe Pesci Larry David Trey Parker Oscar The Grouch Mike Myers Karen O Natalie Portman Chris Nieratko Ice Cube Rashida Jones George Stroumboulopoulos Steve Carell That guy from 28 Days Later...you know the one. Jason Gordon Levit John Krasinki Amy Winehouse (Come on, she's hilarious.) Daryl Palumbo Kenny Hotz Batman Ryan Reynolds Emily Hanes Christopher Loyd Gavin McInnes Adrock Super Mario David Cross Ethan Hawk The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man Bruce Campbell Those guys from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Bruce Willis Johnny Bravo John Candy Simon Pegg Kristen Wiig Shannyn Sossamon Beaker Harrison Ford Morgan Freeman Sarah Silverman Zach Braff Leo DiCaprio Macaulay Culkin Zooey Deschanel Hamburgalar Tegan...but not Sara...(okay Sara) The Rock Sean Connery Randy Quaid Jughead Jack Nicholson Anthony Hopkins Stimpy
Hmm. That's a lot less then I thought there would be. I'm sure I'm forgetting about a thousand here, so please, help me out.
There is a good chance that you won't hear from us ever again. Eric found a copy of Maximum Carnage for Sega Genesis on Ebay and we have been trying to beat it for hours and hours. Having made very little headway, I only hope that Pause's newest release, 'Sparrows of the North', will remind you of our better days - before our newfound video game obsession was driving us into personal and financial ruin.
Enjoy! -Ken
P.S. Curse your black, black heart Muzznoid.
¶ 7:27 PM
A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE OL' SWEET TOOTH
All these pieces that Ken did this month are themed after popular books. Can you guess which ones?
Oh man, we can't seem to print this shirt as fast as it sells! BUT, you can stop with the death threats temporarily, because all sizes of the "A Little TOO Raph" t-shirt have now been restocked!
I was going to talk about how rad the Sleeping Giant New Years party was, but I haven't been able to get all the pictures from it yet. So, in the meantime, here's a list of celebrities that annoy me in no particular order:
Bono Rosie O'Donnell Miley Cyrus Anyone that was on Friends Gwen Stephani Shakira Pink Eminem Tiger Woods Ashton Kutcher Ozzy Osborne's kids Kanye West Those tattooed twins from that pop punk band Jimmy Fallon George Lopez Jenifer Lopez Mario Lopez Megan Fox Tobey Maguire Ben Affleck Kevin Bacon Alec Baldwin Any Baldwin Jason Biggs M. Night Shyamalan Keanu Reeves Tara Reid Ben Stiller Kevin Federline L.Ron Hubbard Mike Tyson Kid Rock P. Diddy Dustin Diamond Howard Stern Jar Jar Binks That guy from those Subway commercials Penélope Cruz Joan Cusack 50 Cent Pauly Shore The Kardashians Christina Aguilera Tim Allen Those redneck comedians Anyone from Entourage, minus the guy's agent. Lindsay Lohan Madonna Princess Peach The singer for Green Day Orlando Bloom Drew Carey Gary Busey Andy Dick Drew barrymore Kelly Ripa Satan Fred Durst Kimora Lee Simmons Chris Angel Steve-o Nicole Richie Kathy Griffin Axl Rose Flavor Flav Nelly Furtado Jessica Simpson David Spade Donald Trump Ice-T Janet Jackson All the Wayans brothers Kat Von D Owen Wilson The Energizer Bunny The Black Eyed Peas Rob Zombie Carrot Top Perez Hilton
Whew. I need a shower after all that. If I've forgotten any, please let me know.
